You’ve done everything you should to get pregnant, taken the vitamins, eaten healthy, tried not to stress, mildly planned out the dates, and then bam one day you find out your having a baby…again. Only this time you are (perhaps secretly) filled with a mixed emotions of fear, anxiety, and maybe even a little dread. I say relax, this is normal.
Things have changed since that first little bundle of joy arrived and you were completely naive in all expectations of what motherhood, marriage, and sanity would look like. This time, you have a very clear understanding of what is about to hit you, and you know it just might suck. Literally. Don’t get me wrong, of course there is also the other part of your brain that reminds you that all of the difficult will pass, new normal will be learned and life will re-form to another version that vaguely resembles the previous life.
I am now 32 weeks pregnant, and a little concerned. Will my two year old try to kill the baby, and how often might this occur? How long until I sleep through the night again (Please God help me with this one)? I can hardly handle one (for real) how on Earth am I going to manage two? And once again, how badly am I going to screw up my children? These are just a few of my worries.
Several weeks ago I was lying on the couch in my usual uncomfortable fashion when I turned to my husband and in all honesty asked him just “why did we choose to do this again?” He had no good answer, and seemed to quickly come down to my level as I rambled on and on about my fears. We ended the conversation in agreement that we maybe should have thought this through a bit more, and that somehow we will get through it.
Thats the thing about time…often it is the only thing you can count on to get you through a situation. One day after the next, one sleepless night after another, until eventually time has saved you from the worst of it, and pulled you through to the other side where you can breath again. With enough time they all eventually turn into sweet little joys that you can’t get enough of (right!?)
It is normal to fear the worst ( at least in my family.) So why not go through hell again? It’s only temporary. I am not an expert (obviously) but if I knew everything I had to go through for my first child, would I do it again (deep sigh)….yes. Absolutely. Not only is my life better because of him, I believe the world is a better place because of him.
So cheers to my nameless baby. I fear you, but I love you. Please be gentle on us.
theunperfectmom.com 