Being a mom is hands-down the best, most fulfilling job that I have ever had. Being a mom, and hanging with my kids is great, it’s all the other details involved with being a mom that sucks. It’s a lot. The choices that a mother must make during the first few years of the their child’s life are tough, and no one can prepare a mother for any of it.
When you are pregnant you believe that life will simply carry on as normal, but with another human in the picture. This is not the case. Your world as you know it is over. Your world will soon become a new world, but in a much better, much more complicated way. However, make no mistake that your life prior to children, will not look like your life post children. This is good. We all must evolve. Things much change. We are expected to grow, and I think kids are Gods way of speeding up this process.
So you have a kid and then the choices come… Stay at work? Stay at home? No matter which you choose you will both immensely loose and gain at the same time. You literally can not win with the guilt and struggles that lie with either decision. So you roll a dice, and surprise! IT ALL WORKS OUT. No matter which you decide, you figure it out and make it work. It is good. “New life” is great, and you maneuver your way through it with the same ease that you once knew prior to children. BUT…if you are in the one group, the group that decided to stay home, you now have a whole new wrench thrown into the mess. You think you can relax when all of a sudden they grow on you. And I mean this literally! They grow! At first you don’t believe it, but you start to read the writing on the wall and realize that this growing thing is not going to stop and now life must be re-learned.
We all must find identity in something. Something that makes us want to wake up the next day and smile. When the initial realization that your child, whom you have spent all day, everyday caring for will soon be gone for 8+ hours a day, your perspective on your purpose suddenly begins to evolve. “If they are gone, now what? Who am I if not a caring mother all day long?”
I don’t have the answer. I don’t know. Maybe the moms who decided to stay at work actually did know what they were doing. Keep the changes to a minimum and carry on life with the same goals in mind. Either way here I am, along with a slew of other mothers I see everyday at the mid-day pick up line at pre-school. Intelligent, accomplished, driven, women who decided to stay home with their kids. Unless you made this choice you will never understand the sacrifices these women made. Staying home is awesome. It is fun, and the best choice I have ever made, but it is so thankless. There is no one to tell you that you have done a great job. That you are still smart. That you have achieved something in the greatest way possible. Being a mom sucks, but I wouldn’t change it for the world and I look forward to re-learning life once again.